deborah

deborah @deborah4

Halifax, NS, Canada

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hope
hope @hope53

I no longer have a confidence problem...and for the psoriasis since it really started after I changed my thoughts about my body and looks it didn't affect my confidence. Here's the plain ole thing...I changed how I looked at myself and quit trying to please people, I decided that I DID come first in someone's life...MY OWN & to hell with everyone else. I wish I had learned this earlier in life. I grew up when it was chic to have anorexia or bulimia...thinner was always better. Unfortunately, I had inherited big ginormous boobs and no butt, and they didn't get smaller as I got thinner so I looked like a toothpick attached to 2 watermelons😅😅😅, and I hated how I looked! Buying bathing suits was an absolute horrendously murderous experience😣. Then one day in my 40s my boyfriend at the time was with me on one of those trips and I was dreading it, nevermind that men and women have always complemented on my looks except when I was too thin. But anyway, he stood me in front of the mirror (yuck...it was a full length one) and made me actually look at myself until I really looked at myself and finally I realized that he was right and I was fine with how I looked at the time. And he went out and bought a long mirror and made me spend 5 minutes looking at myself naked everyday for an entire month and saying that I was beautiful, he said it took 28 days to make or break a habit. At the end of the month I realized that I no longer felt like I needed to camouflage various body areas to feel confident, that other people's opinions don't matter nor do they affect how I feel about how I look🙄. Now understand, at the time, I was living in Florida Keys where clothing is kept at a minimal for the most part and I was usually the most covered woman and still not overly confident even tho I tried to pretend I was. Now at 53, I wear a bikini on a public beach with all the confidence in the world even when my ear and hands and knees and elbows and fanny are in full flate up mode. While it makes me angry to have psoriatic nail disease because of the damage its done to 5 nails between my toes and fingers and now I have to keep them painted or people look at them like I have some contagious disease and I really get tired of setting them straight (I paint them because I hate having them messed up like they are). But now I don't let others dictate the way I feel about myself. I have more confidence now than pre-psoriasis by a long shot and I have reached the age where the 'girls' sag greatly and the upper arms are closer to turkey wings 🦃and i know I will never have any butt and I have wrinkles and I am supremely confident in who I am not only physically but mentally and I have to deal with psoriasis but psoriatic nail disease and psoriatic arthritis plus spinal stenosis in various areas of my spine and to top it off I have fibromyalgia; having the confidence that I have has helped me cope even on my worst days. Again its all perception...change your thoughts change your life...concentrate on the good things first and spend a month in front of the mirror learning to love the parts you don't like; 5 minutes⏳ every single solitary day...out loud tell yourself that you love this part and that part...negative thinking during the day is not allowed at all...every negative thought you have will set you back a month📆. Make post its and stick them everywhere with a positive thought...I have psoriasis on my hands from my large knuckles to my finger tips, however; I have hands that have raised 3 daughters, saved and raised hundreds of newborn kittens and puppies, have created incredible photographs, created tons of fine artwork and specialty crafts, written pages of letters, poems, short stories, haved saved lives, have held the hands of dying relatives and eased their passing...they are fantastically wonderful hands and I love them. This is what you have to do to yourself. Do this for every single body part and for your brain, emotions, shyness, etc...whatever it is that holds you back from attaining the highest level of confidence you should have. Even if its your level of education; concentrate only on the positive...really everything can be given a positive just like everything can be given a negative...the object is to delete the negative from your thought process...again change your thoughts...change your life. I hope that many of my fellow companions and friends and friends yet to be made can use some of this...it helped me a lot to learn to see positive instead of the usual "you know, if I lost 5 more pounds I would feel better about myself and if i had more tone in my upper arms I would wear shorter sleeves"...that became "I'm glad I have these curves...I'm much sexier with them, I look younger than before, my hips and shoulders have just the right amount of padding so I can sleep on my side & my upper arms have been used as crying pads for my daughters from the moment they were born, and where the strength came to carry them for hours when they were sick or had colic, they were the designated pillows for little girls who wanted to sleep snuggled up to their mommy, they are the arms that have paddled a kayak 29 miles in a day in Florida Bay, the arms of a volleyball champion, the arms that have held a camera steady, the arms that have held more than one person to give comfort and love and steadiness to, they are the arms not only of a woman but a mommy"....makes a huge difference, plus as a bonus if human flight becomes possible...I've done got my wings and I earned them!💖

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