12 Feb 14:58
Friends & family
How do you guys deal with assertive family members who think they understand your condition better than you?
Please don't include specific medical product brand names or external links.
12 Feb 15:41
Hi Jessica !
I explain them once. But when I notice the kind of attitude you described, I don't waste my time and my energy trying to convince them. I let them talk...
12 Feb 15:45
Its infuriating, just because the pain isn't shown or they don't see it, doesn't mean that it isn't there. Explaining to my family that just because I'm a trooper and always happy and never show it, it doesn't mean that it is non existent
12 Feb 16:33
Jessica I don't. Same with when they tried to tell me how to raise my kids. They shut up or I show them the door. Nicely though. I give one warning and that's it. I've let go of my family though completely. If they come back it has to be without their impositions. I am 56 though and it did take time. This my journey and if they want to be part of it then they have to learn to tame their tongue. They have their journey's too so I understand, but I have a very calm life and don't allow that to be disturbed now by anyone at all!
12 Feb 16:41
Dont pollute your mind with that Jessica! Stay happy. What matters is that the people you love know exactly what you're going through.
Dont bother yourself with that kind of people...
12 Feb 17:35
I also don't bother explaining myself anymore. I walk away/put headphones on. My mom is a stress trigger for me. I feel like anything I say might be an excuse for her.. I don't even know how to explain things either. She calls me "lazy" I feel exhausted and unmotivated.. I do small things to help out at home, its not enough for her, and I don't have that kind of energy. Few days ago, she told me "If laziness could kill, you'd be dead already." God, that type of negativity makes me wish I was dead. Things like that make me feel so low, I could slip so fast into a depressed state. I cope with my emotions by crying it out, and then suppressing feelings of hurt. I feel a heaviness in my heart whenever I think too much about my actual sadness.
12 Feb 17:38
First I pray for them to be enlightened and if that doesn't work then you have to pray for yourself that you will have more patience to deal with them! Goodluck 😀
12 Feb 18:01
good for me jessica, no family to ask me about my flakes
or stress me about anything, happy days :)
12 Feb 18:23
Amber that's horrible for your mom to say. However, it's all about her. I learned in a course years ago that anything anybody says to your face, behind your back, good or bad, is none of your business. It's about them. Sure we like to hear good things. I do too. However, it is my human responsibility to know and love myself without the validation of another human. Believe me... It took me a long time and practice to get here at 56 and the work is not done yet. LOL
12 Feb 18:29
Family and friends that dont understand that we are not lazy but just plain tired are hard to deal with Amber I know.
12 Feb 18:53
Amber, girl my mom is my main trigger with stress its always drama with her then she compares her illnesses with mine to make me seem like the weaker link. IT gets old really fast. I want to remain respectful but girl i have about had it
12 Feb 18:57
Thank you guys for all your support! You guys rock!
12 Feb 19:09
I try to just make them see that their attitude makes me stressed and makes my skin worse! And try to explaing how it is being someone living with psoriasis. None of my family have it so none of them get it! I remind them of that every time something comes up, because it is true and very relevant.
12 Feb 23:24
I only ever talk about my psoriasis on here as everyone understands what we go through every day, never discuss it with anyone. So pleased that this group was formed.
13 Feb 02:13
I'm pretty sure no one in my family would challenge my knowledge of pso.
13 Feb 06:56
Hi Jessica. My whole family knows about my condition and I'm lucky to say that they are so understanding and actually try to help me but....strangers are the problem. Each and every second person is a Derm and they always know somebody who knows someone who actually knew somebody whom had P. I mean, really now.
13 Feb 09:24
No one in my family knew what P was before I was diagnosed. Only after I read up on it, became apparent that my grandfather and uncle have it too... So guess I'm the knowledge database in my family.
13 Feb 23:40
Quietly thank them for their concern and info and say I'll look into it.
14 Feb 03:22
It can be hard, people around us do not understand the pain that comes along with P. Physically or Emotionally. Both can run quite deep. It would be nice if they had a better understanding of it. I only recently started talking openly with my family and friends about how isolated, embarrassed, ashamed and the heavy duty pain that accompanies it. As I write this I am wondering to myself, if because I chose to ignore it for so many years, and not talk about it.. perhaps that is why they didn't have a better understanding of it?
14 Feb 03:29
Michelle you made me chuckle a bit..Yeah, if we don't share, how do they know. I think that about all aspects of life. We are social beings and we need to be open and the right people will come into our lives for the right reasons. We are all teachers on this planet.
14 Feb 06:10
i know what you mean jessica, my girlfriend used to always say i am always ill,well she had done, i work in a nursing home thats boiling hot all day with the heating on ,that makes one tired,my joints used to ache a lot and that used to make me tired also, i understand where you are coming from,my work mate gets more tired than me i think, hes obese though
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