Michelle
...feeling hopeful Michelle @mishlyn

Coping

“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.”
-Tyrion Lannister

Acceptance has been one of my biggest struggles with P. I am much better now than I have ever been, still have *off* days. What's been your biggest struggle?

16

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16 responses

Ellen
Ellen @ellen7

I hope you are right Michelle. My biggest flaw is one that l struggle with daily. It is not ps. I love my son but l am so angry at him for not seeing and supporting his four children for the last 8 years. He lives the high life with his new wife and child and can afford to pay more than $2-20 for each child per week.


 john,AQUA MAN
john,AQUA MAN @chewbacca

Trying to win the lottery :)


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Michelle. My biggest flaw is accepting compliments and brush it off as nothing. I've always been like this and I don't know why. Could be of a low self esteem I had when I was a child. I know when people are sincere but, I still feel uncomfortable.
Ellen: It is so unfair to you and his children. Push his responsibilities on you and expect you to cope with it while he is having the time of his life. That is a no-no. He needs to be pulled back down to the ground and except his responsibilities. Why should you and the kids suffer? Does the kids live with you? I'm so sorry and I'm sure you love your grandchildren but your son needs to wake up.


Patricia
Patricia @patricia1978

Yes Michelle I feel the same.


Ellen
Ellen @ellen7

Sorry to dump on you guys. He doesn’t speak to us as l told him what l thought of him. My daughter in law has done a wonderful job with the children and we and her parents support her in any way we can. In the early days one of our grandchildren asked her grandfather to tell daddy to come home. These are the things that break our hearts and part of me hates him. I know l shouldn’t think like that as he was such a loving father and a great son until all this happened.


Ellen
Ellen @ellen7

Well Michelle, maybe telling you all my problems will help me to move on. Thanks for listening. It is interesting my ps has only been going for the last eight years.


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

That's why we are here Ellen. To help and support each other. It's not easy to be a great parent as you will well know. Everybody always go on about the mother of a child, how wonderful, kind, loving etc she is but most people forget about the role the dad plays in that child's life.
Fathers are central to the emotional well-being of their children, they are are capable caretakers and disciplinarians.
Girls will look for men who hold the patterns of good old dad, for after all, they know how “to do that.” Therefore, if father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will reach for those characteristics in men. Boys on the other hand will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviors that they recognize as both successful and familiar -

Ellen, I have two beautiful girls and I was mom and dad to them. Their dad never paid maintenance and he never wished to see them. He had a new girlfriend and he was looking after her and her 3 children. My kids were heart broken about it but they grew up to be strong independent ladies. Now after all these years, they sometimes see their dad and he is a wonderful man although he has made mistakes and he regret all those things he has done. Dads should know that they have a very important role in their children's upbringing. Ellen, your grandchildren are growing up wisely, they see what is happening and lucky for them you are all there to support them. They have a loving mom and they should know that their life is not just about their dad. It's about them as a person. Their dad will wake up one day and realize what he has done, and unfortunately, you can't make him pay maintenance or look after his kids. He has to give the first step. :)


Ellen
Ellen @ellen4

Oh Ellen...this better not be a Ellen thing ..I have a similar problem with my son ..he pays his maintenance but does not see his son ..this has broken this little boys heart ... I had a few words with him & now he does not speak to me or his son for about 3 years ..he also lives a high life with his new girlfriend...thankfully theres no kids yet from her.....


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

I'm sorry to hear about it ellen4. My heart breaks for these children but you know what? they will grow up strong and most of the time they turn out to be great dads to their children.


Ellen
Ellen @ellen4

I know Michelle,,, that's why I am such an active part of his live but I can never replace the loss he feels from not having his dad around ....


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

I know what you mean. My girls doesn't even know what it is to have a dad and you know they do long for that affection.


Susan
Susan @godcares

Michelle I'm writing a book about my life as you know. Honestly, my biggest struggle has been that I am unworthy of love by being myself. So I spent a lifetime trying to be that great wife, great mom, great friend. I still am all that for sure, but I have found that I need to do daily affirmations to just let things go. Issues with anyone have been given to God. Without God I know I would still be struggling with people and their dumbass life. LOL. I keep letting go, vent if I need to with my fiance, but rarely have a need to do that anymore. Weird because I spent many a year being angry at someone. Just had to let things go.

Ellen my kids and I and my fiance just discussed this about 2 days ago. I'm lucky because neither has had children yet and we don't have that issue. I told them both that if they can't take care of their children, then I am not the go to. My life is mine. Raised my kids. Now they have to fly. Now, that being said I don't know what I would do in your situation. That's tough. I do think sometimes our generation tries to help our kids but I learned something many years ago at a course I took. If we rescue our kids then we literally "rob" them of personal growth. Also that NO is a complete sentence. Both took practice and I had to learn as well that if I loved them, I should not be robbing them of anything. It's a tough call and nobody can judge unless we walk in someone else's shoes. I pray that this all works out and that your son steps up as a man.


Ava
Ava @ava1

Wisdom, right there, Susan. 👌👊👆


rachel
rachel @wynnegee

"No is a complete sentence" … I'll remember that. Thanks Susan and the Michelles, good luck to the Ellens. This has been a really informative thread which has helped me more than any counselling session!!


Sarah
Sarah @sarahuk

Love that quote Mish! My biggest struggle with p has been trying to get to the bottom of what my triggers are and knowing for sure why my p gets the way it does. This is still ongoing as you know! And possibly will be forever. Luckily I'm not afraid of the long game... 😆


Clint
Clint @NJClint

Sarah is rebooted and texting really fast LOL 😁 amazing what a week of world travel can do...Italy



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Michelle
Michelle @mishlyn
Ontario, Canada

One of my biggest lessons in life and with Psorasis is: ❤when you change the way you look at things...the things you look at change.❤ -Dr Wayne Dyer



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