Flaym
...feeling frustrated Flaym @flaym

Looks, coping, strangers

How do you deal with people staring?

50

Please don't include specific medical product brand names or external links.

50 responses

Chris
Chris @Chris70

Don't bother anymore , if they stare I ignore it if they ask I explain it


Justin
Justin @justin1

They are just jealous!


Lorna Penner
Lorna Penner @lornapenner

Im to busy to notice.


Elio
Elio @elioperez

Stare back. 😳


James
James @ferns

Pretty much like Chris, I don't really give a s@#t although yes, if they ask in a respectful way I'll explain.



Joyce
Joyce @joyce6

Don’t even notice anymore. If they have issues about it that’s their problem not mine! If asked I am happy to explain but otherwise not interested.


Marietes
Marietes @marietes

Just ignore them, unless otherwise it very intimidating , then I politely say ,it's psoriasis and you have nothing to worries , its not contagious but its ugly,


Millionways
Millionways @millionways

Exactly like Margaret, smile.


James
James @ferns

As I said in another post, tell them it's leprosy and ask if they want a closer look. Then you'll see how fast a human being can run backwards.


Susan
Susan @godcares

I didn’t give it a second thought back then. Nothing to do with me.


dave keyes
dave keyes @weasel

Into last part of phototherapy psoriasis ALL Gone, no more staring. Long hard journey but all clear now


James
James @ferns

Cunning thinking Kate :)


Marisa
Marisa @marisapsoria

It's hard to deal with the stares but remember that this is not you, its only a response by others to something they don't understand. I realized that even after I was completely clear, people still stare for one reason or another. So, don't take it personally. Very few people understand Psoriasis.


Sharon
Sharon @sharon7484

I work in the health care sector, and we have to be bare from the elbows down and tie our hair up 😞 I've had to leave the hospital setting because of this. I had one patient say that she didn't want me to touch her incase it was catching! That was the last straw for me. So now I'm working for much less money in nursing homes as they understand why I wear a long sleeved top under my uniform. So I'm also melting in the heat. I still feel embarrassed by the looks and comments, even though I have had psoriasis for 32 years. I even cover up in front of my family and friends. But that's just me and my lack of confidence. This summer has been awful. I've not even gone to the beaches that are on my doorstep as I have it from top to toe including my toe nails and I don't want to embarrass my family.


Heather
Heather @heather270492

I ignore them but am still aware that they have looked. I can’t remember any remission since mine started in 1988.


Lorna Penner
Lorna Penner @lornapenner

I feel for people who have "P" so bad that they feel embarrassed in a workplace or family or other.. I had a bad breakout last winter--but now Im pretty good still have a few itchy areas and just using lemon to rub those areas and the itch is gone almost instantly..but Im always still looking for a cure.. there are so many new products out there at Health stores and Markets that might be even more helpful.


Willie
Willie @willie

In a long que I will tell them I got the pest . They run !!!


Melissa
Melissa @melissa81

Say hello, that usual stops it


Lindakay1948
Lindakay1948 @lindakay1948

I smile ,I actually square my shoulder's and stand Taller...and I think to myself..."Hey your a Runway Model Baby" and then I strike my Ballet pose and "Chow Bella" :>)


Lindakay1948
Lindakay1948 @lindakay1948

In the words of Prince "I could be the Most Beautiful Girl in the World"


Doreen

Rosey
Rosey @sue2023

I don't look at ppl anymore,apart from work of course,am aware they stare,had too many comments to even give pple a eye contact


Rosey
Rosey @sue2023

Sharon I get you,know how hard it is,was the comments that reduced me to tears ,was the straw as you say,if I was just a bit on elbows , wouldn't be a problem,but all over ,arms,face etc,I get how society wore you down,hang in there,did my head in too,



Sarah
Sarah @sarahuk

Sometimes I deal with it very well and other times not well at all. When my skin is fairly good my mood is good and my confidence is strong even when it is not clear, but on the positive direction. When it is flaring, I feel self conscious and sad about what people might think... but I try to make myself keep my skin out, so it can get fresh air and to "normalise" the condition.


Peter
Peter @peter5300

dependent on my mood lol, i once told someone that was staring that if they look any harder they will go blind, or worse getting as well lol , just saying not the best thing to say to people, i dont let it get to me any more hey, but if shes good looking i blow a kiss and they blush lol how i met my lady by the way :) :D


Erica
Erica @Eri

If it is a quick stare I ignore it, if they continue to stare I stare back and say can I help you seems like to want to ask me something. It depends on how they stare, one lady said she stared because it looks like what her husband has and we ended up exchanging information. If they are rude they get an earful.


Millionways
Millionways @millionways

Why do many have a hostile attitude?
Try to approach it positively.
You are the one who has to continue with your thoughts and state of mind.


Erica
Erica @Eri

Unfortunately there are those who have no care of how they embarrass you in public, as if you don't feel embarrassed enough. One guy even claimed to have healing powers and immediately started praying for me in an isle of a big shopping centre. Not that I don't believe in the power or prayers but he was confident there and then I was healed! Not can I pray for you. One lady embarrassed me in front of my husband in a restaurant, I lost my appetite there and then as the patrons around us kept staring. Another grabbed my hand and interrogated me in a local shop. The list goes on and on. It is like asking the partners of a disabled person what is wrong with them! For example if you are lame you are not deaf or blind. And if you are deaf or blind you are not stupid by default. If there is one thing in life that irks me it is people who are insensitive to how they make others feel. Not even a person who is HIV positive has to disclose their status, why am I obliged to tell people what is wrong with me if I don't want to. Act and ask nice and I will tell you. If you are rude I will tell you to go get manners and then ask me again. It is stressful enough dealing with P.


Linda
Linda @justicejones

Very well expressed, thank you!


Millionways
Millionways @millionways

I understand. Of course you should not let them walk over you. Yet it is a shame that you are so hostile. Thinking in advance that people will insult you. I can’t walk around stressed out like that. I prefer to do this the other way around. I open up. When someone is getting to hurt me, it's time enough to defend myself. I am not naïve. I too have seen enough, but I do not allow myself to be restricted.


Lindakay1948
Lindakay1948 @lindakay1948

Frankly I guess I don't do shame...I keep a positive outlook on all of life..even God has a sense of Humor Afterall He Created a Platypus..right...I am actually so intriguing people Follow me with their eyes...:>) Love you all...Life is not waiting for you..Life has Its own terms :>)


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Show some more skin while posing :) I need to look good for my P ;)


Erica
Erica @Eri

@Millionways Sorry but I am well within my rights to not let anyone be rude to me nothing to be ashamed of. Most people are willing to learn and accept once you tell them what P is. Luckily those who are downright rude are few and far in between. Mostly I don't think what others will say or think I just get on with life. That said we have the advantage of being used to it the general uniformed public doesn't, I will take that into consideration. Again we have our good and bad days, we are allowed to cope better on our good days and not so much on our bad days.


Jane
Jane @jane2445

I’m always covered up when I’m out. This summer has been a bit of a nightmare with the heat but now it’s cooling down I don’t look so out of place.


Rosey
Rosey @sue2023

Get where your comming from Jane


Rosey
Rosey @sue2023

Well said Erica,some don't understand why we cover,its easier than dealing with the comments


Savannah
Savannah @sav21

I use to cover mine up all the time.I felt so ashamed of it, making it worse until one day i stopped worrying and i dont bother. people will always stare no matter what you have its just like there are looking outfit. if they ask i will always inform them and if they have nasty things to say just shows how theyre as a person. we should all be proud of ourselves for being able to cope with something so irritating and horrible


Millionways
Millionways @millionways

Erica, is it okay to send you a dm?


roslyn
roslyn @roslyn

i stare right back


roslyn
roslyn @roslyn

i ask them if something is wrong, most of the time they stop


Charmaine van den Berg
Charmaine van den Berg @charmainevandenberg

Hi still struggling with flare-up and itchyness drives me crazy ,don't know what triggers it


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Hi Charmaine. Well with all the rain that we are getting in Jhb at the moment my skin is flaky but not itchy but I think it might also be from all the crappy food I've been eating these past few days. Have you tried changing your diet? I've been drinking my turmeric water again this week to get rid of my inflammation. My PsA is much better now again so I'm a happy lady.


Martha
Martha @martha8

When I live in Johannesburg my P was not so itchy I did not realise until I came back to the UK that I had it. Now scratch scratch


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Sorry to hear Martha. Yes Johannesburg has a dry sunny climate and England is wet. Whenever I used to go to Durban or Capetown, I itched like I had fleas which is why I don't really go there for a holiday. Have you found something that works for the itching?


Bev
Bev @bev43

Actually that's what I've found. My ears were worse in Joburg but not itchy. They have totally healed in Cape Town but are so itchy all the time


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

I'm glad it healed Bev. Sheesh, we just can't win with P. Which one would you prefer more? The itch or the flakes? Difficult one. I really don't know which one I'll choose. maybe the itching?


Bev
Bev @bev43

Now that it's cleared I've been able to have short hair. Instead of always having to cover my ears with longer hair. So yes itchy is preferable for me. Except in the middle of the night when it's really itchy I sometimes say arrrgh I'd rather have the flakes etc Lol


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

You. Look. Absolutely. STUNNING Bev! Beautiful you are. :)



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