Ed
...feeling okay Ed @Mister

Coping, relationships, friends & family

I was looking on the Quora page in relation to narcissists and they said being around people with these traits can lead to developing a hyper immune disease. I have psoriasis and it got worse the more time I spend with my narcissistic mother.

9

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9 responses

Ed
Ed @Mister

I meant "autoimmune diseases" not "hyper immune".


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Hi Ed. Quora is one of my favorite places to go :) well, the narcissist has the absence of conscience, a psychological need for power, and a sense of importance and insecurity which is why they try to intimidate others. I do not associate myself with people like that as they are toxic and definitely not good for us. They don't like me and I don't like them and I would not even want to negotiate sitting in the same room as them for 10 minutes. I'll just lose it. We have a choice of who we want to include in our circle, family or no family. Do what is best for you and avoid all the toxic people in your life. You matter. Not them. :)


Elaine
Elaine @elaine2018

Hey Ed, I had not read that in any of the Quora posts, but I'm SOOOOO glad you mentioned it!!! God bless you for bringing this information into the mix!!! You just gave me the validation that I've needed for many years :) Every time I told people how I developed mine (through my narcissistic husband's yelling & verbal abuse), I always thought I was CRAZY. But I knew that was when it developed. I've had my P for 12 years, and I CURSE my ex every time I am agitated by my P. I still have SO much anger inside me towards him. I guess I need to forgive him to be able to move on....... :)


Ed
Ed @Mister

My mother is very narcissistic. She is never wrong and loves and lives to gossip about everyone who is not currently there at the time.
Most times I try to ignore her issues but she like picking fights and her perception of the events and people around her are just flawed or wrong.
Sometimes I have trouble eating around her and even my skin crawls with aggravation,stress and frustration.
Anyway, I started developing psoriasis about twenty years ago when I moved back to my home town and was spending more time with my mother whom I suspect is the cause of the illness.


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Sorry about that Ed. I can imagine how torturous it must be to be around her and no matter what you do, it will never be good enough for her but still you seek that acknowledgment which is why you hang around. It is sad as we are all looking for the love and approval of our parents and what some don't realize is the effect their attitude has on a child growing up. You deserved to be loved and to be treated well. You deserve to be your own person and not to seek approval the whole time. You deserve to be happy. You are your own person. You're strong Ed and I know you can heal from all the bad memories you have. Start by believing in yourself, be who you are, be strong. Don't get depressed when around your mother. Stay positive as narcissists hate positive people. They will do everything to make you miserable but only you can show her that her words and deeds has no effect on you whatsoever. Mind over matter my friend. Next time you visit and she starts throwing insults etc, get up and leave. Doesn't matter how many times you have to do this, you will heal at the end and come out stronger as you will see her words have no EFFECT on YOU any more. I'm sure she will start choosing her words wisely when you're around as deep down, she is actually the one who is looking for approval although she will never admit it. In her eyes, she is the best. We are warriors and we do what is necessary for US. Good luck. :)


Ed
Ed @Mister

I appreciate the response. Thanks Michelle.
It is just so hard to blame a family member esp a mother for causing psychological or physical discomfort.
I am not expecting her to change because she is near 70 and would not even look up the term "narcissism" to deal with her problem. Thanks again for your response.


Elaine
Elaine @elaine2018

Michelle, you are always upbeat, loving, nurturing and supportive. I'm going to endeavor to be more like you :)


Michelle
Michelle @michelle1021

Ed, I'm sorry. Yes your mom is too old to change now I do agree with you but hey, keep your chin up and stay positive. You are doing good and not long you'll be great. :)
Elaine, how sweet of you to say that thank you. Oh, I can be very rude and obnoxious too but we are all in the same boat with our condition and it breaks my heart to see how some suffer because of others. We are here to support each other and I have learned so much from a lot of Flaymers and their advice has made me a stronger person more sincere person. Thank you :)


 john,Hulk
john,Hulk @chewbacca

Hello Ed. So sorry here this , May explain why i was so bad with psoriasis when i was a child, i wasnt a happy one at all, a lot happened and confussion i could go on how bad things were but , i decided myself to take away toxic people , yes my dad isnt toxic but whom is around him is , I tried seeking approval when i was young etc , made efforts but it seemed i wasnt getting it back,My father is not a bad man at all but his family are toxic and his woman my stepmother since 1975. I was in the way as a child , i wasnt perfect by no means but i wasnt that bad, i dont think ?. I havnt seen my dad in around 6 to 7 years now and i would rather see him alone but hes never alone so i decided to just eliminate them from my life, basically no contact, Does it bother me No. that was just my take on things with me, i understand you love your mother etc ,I dont know what to say but maybe short spells with your mother than too long with her? I agree toxic people can make things worse true . When i left home , after a few years my skin got better, seems being away from toxic people helped in my case , All the best Ed , I wish you well



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Ed
Ed @Mister
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I like photography,travel and the outdoors.





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